March 8 - “Give Me a Drink”
Give Me a Drink
Exodus 17:1-7
John 4:5-42
First Congregational Church of Williamstown MA
3/8/26
Rev. Mary W. Nelson
Will you pray with me please: May the words of my mouth…
The Lenten season gives us some long scripture readings! But I’m grateful that it does, because these longer passages enable us to understand our faith in a broader context. Modern American culture loves a sound byte, not so much a story. Attention spans have decreased measurably—down to sixty percent or even thirty percent of what they were 25 years ago! It’s hard to fathom a story that lasts 3500 years, but there is a line from the Hebrews complaining of thirst in the Sinai desert to Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at Jacob’s well, and then from that well to us here in Williamstown. We’re part of the lengthy story of God’s people slaking their thirst. We’re part of the covenant that God establishes with God’s people, again and again and again.
You may recall that we’re talking about our Behavioral Covenant throughout the season of Lent this year, and today we’ve got two behaviors we’re looking at, since I wasn’t here last week. This week we’re talking about kindness and safe space. It’s all wrapped up together, I assure you.
Yahweh, the God of the Hebrew people, revealed to Moses, has led the people out of Egypt, through the Red Sea, and into the wilderness of what we now call the Sinai Desert. We who have the benefit of historical hindsight know that these people wandered in the desert for 40 years, but at the time today’s story happens, the people are complaining mightily about being out in that desert—and they’ve been there less than three months. They have escaped a life of slavery in Egypt, survived ten plagues, crossed through the Red Sea, they complained once about finding water that was too bitter to drink (and God turned the water sweet), then they complained again about hunger (and God gave them quails to eat and later manna from heaven), and so here they are again complaining of their thirst—and Moses is SO FED UP with them! What am I supposed to do with these people, he asks God in frustration! You’ve brought us out here, I’m trying my best, and all they do is complain!
Moses doesn’t know yet that this desert wandering is going to take forty years. But if they’re only three months in, everybody’s going to have to take a deep breath to keep from killing each other out there in the desert. And God models for Moses what that looks like. God listens to Moses and gives him the space to express what he’s feeling. God hears Moses’s frustration with the people’s frustration, and responds with infinite kindness for Moses and for the people. Ultimately, God provides the people with the water they need. But first, God listens to Moses, and God says, “I hear you, Moses.”
Likewise, Jesus meets the Samaritan woman at the ancient well of Jacob. Jesus is the outsider here, he’s in Samaritan territory, and he approaches the woman (strictly taboo!) and asks her for a drink, a simple kindness. The woman seems to be taken aback, but her response sparks a dialogue between them that changes them both—she feels seen, safe enough with him that she ends up going back to her friends and family and telling them all about this Jesus man she met. But he feels seen, too, and safe enough to share for the first time ever that he is the Messiah. And he goes back home, and begins performing miracles publicly, turning water into wine at Cana.
Both of these exchanges show how kindness and safe space are intertwined. Kindness creates safe space, safe space creates room for more kindness. One party takes a risk—to complain, or to ask a favor, to share a deep and sacred truth—and the other responds with validation: I see you, I hear you, I understand you, even if I’m not sure I agree with you. We see in both of these stories that when kindness and safe space are intertwined, there is a culture established in that moment that allows people to live more fully into who God calls them to be. Moses learns important lessons about leadership; the Samaritan woman becomes an evangelist and truth-teller; Jesus, too, takes a brave step forward in his ministry; even God is more fully knowable through this experience.
Your Behavioral Covenant describes safe space this way:
I am a participant in this space. I accept that with my participation I am responsible to have humility and patience with myself and with those who are with me. I will be attentive to the words I use and the way I present myself.
It’s interesting that your definition of safe space is more inwardly-focused, claiming your own responsibility for how you show up and participate, rather than outwardly focusing on the environment you want to create for others. But taking responsibility for yourself is, ultimately, what makes any space safe. And when we take responsibility for ourselves–when we acknowledge that we only have control over ourselves, and accept that responsibility–we establish that safe space, but we also establish what some thought leaders today call “brave space”: that is, we make it possible for people to be brave enough to be themselves.
But safe space can only be safe, we can only be brave, if we can trust that our truth will be met with a response that acknowledges our belovedness, our personhood.
You also talk about kindness this way:
Kindness will guide my actions. I will extend that kindness to people in all my interactions and even when I disagree with their perspective knowing that they offered it with their best intention for this congregation. Empathy and respect are foundations to build a culture of kindness in this congregation.
Being kind is not the same thing as being nice. Kindness is rooted in empathy and respect. Niceness is rooted in avoidance of discomfort. Sometimes kindness can cause discomfort, but when that discomfort is cushioned in empathy and respect, relationships can grow deeper.
When they’re done right, kindness and safe space go together.
So with our two stories and our two behaviors we’re lifting up today, I want to share two observations about you.
The first comes from the feedback from the roundtable conversations (given to us in anonymized form): a significant number of people express something like, “I don’t feel able to share what I would like to say. When someone is loud, or certain, about their viewpoint, I shut down. Especially if I disagree with them.” That says to me there is a lack of safe space: when someone feels unable to disagree, fearing they will not be met with empathy and respect, they don’t lift up their voice. We don’t establish the culture that allows people to live more fully into who God is calling them to be. It doesn’t allow us to become the church that God is calling us to be.
My second observation is that this is a church full of people who are very smart! And people who are very smart are often used to being right. People who are very smart often confuse being very smart with being right. It is possible for more than one person to be right! It is possible for all of you to be smart, and for all of you to have some little piece of truth–but no one person has all the truth. Not me, not you. You have some bit right, but no one is completely right, without needing anyone else.
We want to be a culture based in safe space and kindness, and we are holding ourselves back from that. The goal is to establish a culture that allows people to live more fully into who God calls them to be. God is calling you to be something in this community, to share a piece of truth in this community, to move this community forward to become who God is calling us to become. And right now, we are a place where not everyone feels able to share the piece of truth that God is calling them to bring forward.
Safe space and kindness are necessary. We need to practice! Practice kindness and safe space. Practice the curiosity that the Samaritan woman shows. Practice the frustration and bravery that Moses shows in saying “I’ve had it!” Practice hearing one another, truly listening to understand–not to respond, not to be more right, but to understand–and learn something more about who God is calling us to be.
If you are one of the people who said that you don’t feel safe sharing your piece of truth, I invite you to dip your toe in that living water, to ask for help. Come forward and take the risk: “I need water. Give me a drink.”
Let us all practice receiving that request and meeting that need. So that we all may, together, become the church God is calling us to be, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
